Choose Your Own Adventure: it is all about perspective
Posted by Sue Sneyd
Did you read the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books when you were younger? I did! I was the one who always went back to see what the story would have been like had I made a different choice, not because I regretted it, I was curious on an alternative outcome.
It's taken a long time for me to realize that we are always in choice - even when there isn't a page that says "to see if Sue makes the "right" choice, go to page 21! It isn't about "right" or "wrong", it is choosing your impact.
Choosing to re-frame and look at a different perspective is the next level of awareness in self leadership. Choosing a perspective allows you to determine the greatest impact to you and others. It brings self awareness and accountability and can avoid the messiness that comes with ‘auto pilot’ thinking- the tip of the iceberg for mastering your emotional intelligence!
Mastery isn't 20/20 hindsight that you apply AFTER an interaction with a colleague has gone sideways. Turning potential conflicts into better understanding through pausing for a different perspective, that creates positive impact.
So now, how do you choose the perspective that provides the greatest impact to you and others? Here are some my thoughts - I'm curious as to how you would answer it.
PAUSE, get curious; ask questions without judgment so you can learn what you didn't know before. This may entail: what do I know now that I didn't know then? What do we both have in common here? How do I want to create more space to move forward? What messaging am I carrying that sabotages my goal(s)?
BE PRESENT, Start with time. Time is the easy enemy point, where we say - I don't have a choice, the deadline is tomorrow, please just "get x done". There is always time to think about benefits and impacts and the more you practice it, the faster it becomes
IDENTIFY your feeling or your body's reaction - some call this the gut check. If tense, you need more time to process. Take that perspective and let the other person know - "I need some time with that idea, I'll get back to by __".
VALIDATE and take action and choose your new adventure. Say it out loud or type it out; apply the art of brainstorming risks - including those unintended impacts - and mitigations
I am sure if I went back today and read page 21, it would say start by being aware of yourself and your impact. Recognize the paths in front of you are all about people and your choice matters. I’m trying to practice this everyday, how about you?
Sue